So you have a new Boo and things have been going pretty smoothly. You have decided that he is a keeper and the two of you are pretty much in sync with one another. It’s been a couple of months and now you ready to take the next step…introducing him to your child. Hold up! Wait a minute, Cowgirl! There are something’s that you should consider before going to that rodeo.
1. IS YOUR CHILD READY?
Is your child ready to “share” you? That is exactly what your child will believe they are doing. If you have one child, like I do, your child may feel like your new Boo is taking your attention, especially if it’s only been the “two” of you for quite some time. When I mentioned to my son that my “friend” would be coming over, my son quickly informed me “I don’t want a Dad!” To say that I was taken aback would be an understatement. My son equated any man who came into my life as being a “Dad” and he was having none of it. I think that he was afraid of this new person leaving him like his Dad did. I had to explain to him that I would have men who were friends and that who would also be a friend to him. They were not trying to be his father but that they would be nice to him. He seemed to understand and like that better. I also made sure that he knew that no matter who came into my life, he would always be my first priority and that I would never love him any less.
2. ARE YOU & YOU’RE BOO COMMITTED?
If the answer to this question is “NO” then don’t bother introducing your child to your Boo. It doesn’t make any sense to introduce your child to someone who you aren’t even serious about. It will only confuse your child if someone is “here today and gone tomorrow.” If you and your Boo have decided that you are committed, then and only then, should you introduce your child to him. Per Dr. Phil, “If you’re a single mother, for example, and you introduce your new boyfriend to your children, they can immediately attach themselves to that man because they may be really hungry for male attention. If your new boyfriend bonds with your kids, and then you break up, he’s suddenly gone from their lives. And then you date the next man and bring him by, and before you know it, it can seem like “revolving door dads” to your kids, who may feel abandoned or confused.”
3. TALK TO YOUR CHILD
Once you have decided that you are your Boo are committed, have some conversations with your child about the situation. Explain to your child that you have a friend that you will be going out with and who will come over to visit from time to time. As I stated previously, ensure your child that you will not love them any less and if their dad is involved in their lives, ensure them that this new person will not take the place of their dad. Have some patience because your child may not be on board right away. If they have any questions, make sure to be honest but ensure that your answers are age appropriate.
4. MAKE SURE YOUR BOO UNDERSTANDS YOUR “RULES”
Make sure that you and your Boo actually take the time to discuss things like your parenting style, discipline, etc. He should NOT discipline your child. That is your job. However, if he notices that your child is doing something wrong, by all means he should tell them so but any disciplining should be left up to you. Even after your child meets your Boo, there should not be any overnight visits for a while. Remember, take it slow…don’t rush!
Author: Ty Knighten is Editor in Chief of a Relationship Blog, “The Sexy Single Mommy” where articles are written with plenty of sass and helps women empower themselves to realize love, success, and confidence.
